Relationships can be dysfunctional. People are not.
It's not you or your partner that's "broken". Your relationship, your connection to each other, is the item in need of repair.
Our Approach
to Marriage Counseling
The dominant type of marriage counseling is intended to help couples learn better problem-solving and conflict resolution skills. While improving these skills in relationship can be helpful in deescalating arguments, they don’t actually address the underlying roots of disconnection between couples, the disconnection causing the deepest issues in the relationship.
At The Couple Zone, we are trained in well-researched relationship and trauma approaches. At our core is a focus on emotion. We are all highly trained in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft/). Our trauma therapists are trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) (https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/).
We don’t play
the blame game.
Often, men are afraid that they will be blamed if they come to counseling. This is not the case at The Couple Zone. We take a relational perspective – which in everyday language is akin to “there are two sides to every story”. We assume that if we were in your shoes we would most likely be responding in very similar ways. This is important: We do not blame either partner. If either of you are unsure, we ask that each of you commit to only one session initially. This allows you to get to know your counselor a little, let her/him get to know you, see if it feels right for each of you, and your counselor can see if he/she seems to be able to help you reach your goals.
Basics of Emotionally
Focused Therapy (EFT)
Dysfunction occurs between people, not inside of them.
We believe failed attempts of relating well with each other, rather than individual personality or character flaws, cause issues in relationships. This is why we have "clients" at the CoupleZone, not "patients”.
You already have the resources to mend broken relationships.
We adhere to a core belief that people have built-in resources to rise above their current struggles. Our job is to help you find and use them.
Healthy attachment is a good thing.
Being attached to someone provides our greatest sense of security and safety. It means depending on a partner to respond when you call, to know that you matter to him or her, that you are cherished, and that he/she will respond to your emotional needs.
The problem is rarely the problem.
Most of the time when couples get caught up in patterns of arguing, the subject of the arguing is rarely the problem. It's the deeper issue of disconnection, a feeling of a lack of love or a lack of respect, that partners are trying to communicate.
New cycles of connecting emerge.
Traditionally in a couple, one partner is the pursuer and one partner is the withdrawer in times of conflict and disconnection. After learning why each partner reacts the way they do, we help you implement new positive patterns of relating to each other.
It’s an ongoing commitment.
The connection between a couple is never static. It ebbs and flows with the happenings of life and the challenges we all face. The healthiest, strongest couples continually work to deepen their connection, are aware of each other's attachment needs, and celebrate positive moments together.
